Making Amends: A Crucial Part of the 12 Steps

Cultivating a present-focused mindset is a huge part of releasing yourself from the shackles of the past and enacting positive transformative changes in your life. Incorporating these lessons into the development of future amends can lead to a more positive and meaningful outcome for such people, and allow for a more mindful and respectful approach. We must refrain from deflecting responsibility onto others or justifying one’s harmful actions while expressing remorse, or it discounts the whole activity. Understanding these types can help tailor your script to your specific needs, and these can vary from person to person for whom you have to make amends. And love motivates individuals to give selflessly, positively impacting the lives of others.

Examples of Making Amends in Recovery

• Examples of lessons learned might include realizing the importance of timing, understanding the other person’s perspective, and recognizing when an apology is better left unsaid if it causes harm.
• Willingness and determination to clear away the havoc of our past lives pave the way for our new lives.
• The twelve step model has since transformed millions of lives, guiding people through personal recovery by emphasizing spiritual awakening, self-examination, and helping others.
• It’s a moment of surrender where we trust that real change happens not by self-will but through spiritual growth.
• Through guidance, education and therapy, FHE Health can help a person begin to rebuild their relationships with self and others.

However, it is equally designed for the people in your life now and in the future. By facing the consequences of our previous actions, we become more aware of the terrible cost of our behavior. This will make us less likely to take equally destructive actions in the future. Working the steps has likely made you a less selfish and self-centered individual. As recovering addicts, we fear the loss of control we experienced in our darkest days.

Tips to Cope With Watching a Loved One Die

The process of making amends can pose challenges and often trigger fears and anxieties. But remember, being intentional and realistic is a big part of making impulsive promises or actions. A well-crafted script can serve as a conversational guide, ensuring your list of wrong actions, apologies, and discussions for making amends are addressed and not lost in the moment. The FHE Health team is drug addiction treatment committed to providing accurate information that adheres to the highest standards of writing. This is part of our ongoing commitment to ensure FHE Health is trusted as a leader in mental health and addiction care.

• Many people with substance use disorders tell themselves and others that they don’t have a problem with alcohol or drugs.
• This step can be challenging for people who feel disconnected to their faith or religion or are agnostic or atheist.
• Below, learn some of the best practices for righting the wrongs caused by active addiction.
• Although it sounds lofty, there are realistic, achievable ways to implement examples of making amends.
• It involves specifying the particular behaviors and actions that led to harm, ensuring the admission is not vague or wishy-washy.

Step 9: Responsibility

AA groups often use the Big Book as their primary text during meetings and step work. The Big Book suggests both morning and evening practices for Step 11. In the morning, we can begin the day with quiet reflection, asking for guidance and strength to stay on the path of recovery.

Understanding the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

With these kinds of promises, there may not be enough genuine intention of changing their hurtful patterns and behaviors. The origin of living amends in modern use relates to addiction recovery and substance abuse treatment. However, in the context of grief recovery, David Kessler, in his book Finding Meaning, talks about the importance of living amends as a tool living amends for grief healing.

• Step 3 involves putting yourself at the mercy of this higher power and moving forward for “Him” — or whatever your higher power may be — over the selfishness of addiction.
• It helps you understand that you can’t do it all on your own when you’re in recovery from alcoholism or drug addiction.
• The original 12-Step program is a faith-based program that uses spiritual principles to guide recovery.
• Remember that the 9th step is not over when you have gone through your list.
• We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

Living amends can help you rid yourself of the pain of guilt and the need to constantly say “I’m sorry” to the people you’ve wronged in your life. When a person has died, you can still make amends for your actions. Although, you’ll have to find a different way to do so and in a way that makes a lasting impact on you and the people you love who are still here. The text focuses on the process by which step 9 helps us evolve from selfish to more altruistic individuals. The promises explain that “We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Sometimes we cannot or should not contact the individual we have harmed.

• It’s not about being judged—it’s about getting honest and breaking the cycle of isolation.
• The script also aids in initiating the amends process with an outreach message to confirm if the person is open to receiving an apology.
• Our team of experienced and compassionate therapists and counselors guides clients through every step of the recovery process.
• Make a list of everyone you’ve made promises to that you didn’t fulfill, the people you’ve lied to, stolen from, or hurt in any way because of who you used to be, and apologize sincerely.